{"id":2457,"date":"2024-01-01T09:04:00","date_gmt":"2024-01-01T08:04:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/kayhelena.work\/in-my-head-it-makes-sense\/"},"modified":"2026-02-19T09:41:57","modified_gmt":"2026-02-19T08:41:57","slug":"in-my-head-it-makes-sense","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/kayhelena.work\/en\/in-my-head-it-makes-sense\/","title":{"rendered":"In my head, it makes sense…"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

…but you\u2019re out there. That\u2019s more or less how it feels for me when I try to talk to other people. Sometimes more, sometimes less. <\/p>\n\n

I\u2019m sure my thought\u2014my idea\u2014is a good one. But the reaction isn\u2019t always what I\u2019d hoped for. <\/p>\n\n

The “why” and the “what for”<\/h3>\n\n

Why am I writing this? What do I want? <\/p>\n\n

First of all, I\u2019m writing this post\u2014obviously\u2014for myself. Writing in a quiet environment helps me sort my thoughts… <\/p>\n\n

The reason I\u2019m (this time) not sorting my thoughts in a diary is this:It\u2019s practically impossible that I\u2019m alone in this. And if I can give someone that very feeling, then it was worth it. <\/p>\n\n

Quirky<\/h2>\n\n

It seems to be true that whatever is going on in my head doesn\u2019t automatically have to make any sense out there.<\/p>\n\n

Either because the weight we give to basic assumptions in a line of thought or a goal is different. Or simply because we start from completely different assumptions. Or because, in what I\u2019m saying, I\u2019m assuming something I haven\u2019t actually said. <\/p>\n\n

So it\u2019s no wonder that even with people I\u2019ve been talking to for a very long time, I still go around in circles for a long time until we\u2019re more or less in sync.<\/p>\n\n

There are only very few people I can talk to without having to sync up first.<\/p>\n\n

Most likely, that\u2019s where quirks come from: standing out with (seemingly) strange thoughts and hard-to-understand speech.<\/p>\n\n

Somehow everyone has their quirks<\/h3>\n\n

They just don\u2019t always show.<\/p>\n\n

I, for example, tend to make things seem more complicated.But it\u2019s a matter of perspective.For me, things are the way they are. When in doubt, complicated. Simply because I approach some things in a very fundamental and comprehensive way.For most people, less is enough. <\/p>\n\n

They say a good horse doesn\u2019t jump higher than it has to.Maybe. But I never wanted to become a dressage horse. <\/p>\n\n

Also, I have a pronounced soft spot for donkeys, magnets, and felt pads.<\/p>\n\n

What\u2019s your quirk?<\/p>\n\n

The world is so loud<\/h2>\n\n

Or rather: there are so many of you. And you\u2019re so loud! <\/p>\n\n

There are days when every conversation within earshot is just as loud as my own thoughts.<\/p>\n\n

\"A<\/a>
Von: Kay Helena<\/span> (mit KI generiert)<\/span><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n

And then there are all the imaginable noises on top of that.<\/p>\n\n

I literally can\u2019t understand my own thoughts anymore.<\/p>\n\n

I have a hard time focusing on my own thoughts. Sometimes I respond to random snippets of conversation that have nothing to do with me at all. <\/p>\n\n

Often I\u2019ll wear headphones with loud music\u2014to push all of you out of my head.<\/p>\n\n

Without these aids, I find it hard to get into a complex topic and into a flow. Voices everywhere, ringtones, measuring devices. Even the building rattles when it\u2019s windy. <\/p>\n\n

\"A<\/a>
Von: Kay Helena<\/span> (mit KI generiert)<\/span><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n

Then all it takes is someone speaking to me directly… and I freeze and have to get going again from scratch. <\/p>\n\n

Useless?<\/h2>\n\n

So far, it doesn\u2019t look good.<\/p>\n\n

I can\u2019t always make myself understood reliably, or I\u2019m not understood. And I\u2019m easily distracted. <\/p>\n\n

No. Really not. <\/p>\n\n

It has to fit…!<\/h3>\n\n

But does that mean I am\u2014are we\u2014automatically useless?<\/a>I think the answer here is also: no. Really not! <\/p>\n\n

There is a place in the world for everyone and everything.And there (at first) applies:<\/p>\n\n

\n

“I can because I want what I must.” Immanuel Kant<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n

Of course, this sentence has to accept some limitations\u2014privately as well as professionally.For example, what you can do because you want to isn\u2019t necessarily what you must do.And sometimes you must do what you can do, but don\u2019t want to. Or we want what we must\u2014but can\u2019t do it. <\/p>\n\n

Meaning:It depends on aligning your own ability and willingness as well as you can with what you must do. Everything else creates tension and (exertion of) effort. <\/p>\n\n

Stay honest!<\/h3>\n\n

So yes, it may be that in a certain environment we simply don\u2019t “function” well (enough).In my case: since my second year in the profession, I\u2019ve often worn headphones1<\/a><\/sup> and I had to realize that many followed my example. I don\u2019t want(!) to leave the environment. But I also can\u2019t(!) fulfill the work that\u2019s due without it (must!). <\/p>\n\n

But don’t forget: Simply saying the environment is “wrong” is definitely too simplistic.It could also be that we’re just looking for excuses because we don’t actually want something. Stay honest!<\/p>\n\n

No hoofprints? No pony farm! <\/h3>\n\n

In no area of our lives can we completely choose how everything is set up. We\u2019re not islands. We live together with others.That also means living with who we are and holding ourselves back a little. <\/p>\n\n

But what we absolutely can do:Calmly and thoughtfully look for an environment where we can connect the three corners\u2014can, want, must\u2014well. A place where, quite literally, we ourselves are that connection. <\/p>\n\n

That in turn means we\u2019re not simply “victims” of circumstances.We can actively shape our lives. We can work on it. On ourselves. On the circumstances. <\/p>\n\n

In this context, I\u2019d recommend looking into the concept of coherence and salutogenesis.I believe we can live healthily if we work toward it.<\/p>\n\n

\"Venn<\/a>
Von: Kay Helena<\/span><\/div><\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n

How can that work?<\/h2>\n\n

I\u2019m tempted to say: “I don\u2019t know either!”Because I haven\u2019t found a solution for myself yet and therefore can\u2019t share my own experience.Only this: I\u2019m sure I can find a solution\u2014for me. And everyone else can too\u2014for themselves. <\/p>\n\n

It will come down to being honest. Honest with myself and honest with others.It will come down to not taking myself more seriously than everyone else.It will come down to understanding that maybe, for others, in this moment, I\u2019m not understandable.It will take patience. <\/p>\n\n

The coherence model can help here.There\u2019s a saying that gets quoted over and over again, to the point of wear.<\/p>\n\n

\n

“Teach me patience to endure what I cannot change.Teach me strength to change what I cannot endure.Teach me wisdom to tell the difference.” Unknown<\/p>\n<\/blockquote>\n\n

I find this saying awful. It\u2019s simply been used too often.But there\u2019s also something very important in it:We can and(!) don\u2019t have to change everything.We can and(!) don\u2019t have to endure everything.…if we do it right. <\/p>\n\n

Discover your own strengths<\/h3>\n\n

There is something about us\u2014like about all people\u2014that makes us special.<\/p>\n\n

Not talking yourself down, believing in yourself and your abilities, is hard and has to be practiced.But it\u2019s worth it.<\/p>\n\n

It might be a flourishing imagination that can picture things that are closed off to others.A quick, jumping mind that keeps many topics in view at once or can connect seemingly unrelated topics into a shared context.It might be a special ability to examine something.A childlike, unbiased curiosity that takes everything in with enthusiasm.It might be a special empathy, a sense for what\u2019s going on in others and what\u2019s needed now.<\/p>\n\n

For me, for example, this seemingly too-complicated approach results in work outcomes that are very precise and in-depth.<\/p>\n\n

Conclusion<\/h2>\n\n

I am what I am. And that\u2019s a lot! You are what you are. And that\u2019s a lot! <\/p>\n\n

Despite the Generation Z debate: it really does matter to achieve not only performance goals, but also personal goals.The days when pure performance, class snobbery, was all that counted are over!And despite Generation Z: work is part of it. It isn\u2019t imposed on us\u2014it\u2019s something we get to choose. Work\u2014when it goes well\u2014creates meaning. <\/p>\n\n

In the long run, we can\u2019t burden anyone else with responsibility for ourselves.First and foremost, we ourselves are responsible for us, our happiness, and our health.<\/p>\n\n

If you want to work for a long time, you should work in a healthy way.Physically and mentally.<\/p>\n\n

And it follows that we should, at least from time to time, put ourselves\u2014what we do, our goals, our lives\u2014to the test.With sense and reason.<\/p>\n\n

And then we have to act accordingly.<\/p>\n\n

In any case, I\u2019m going to use this newly started year, 2024, for this kind of self-examination.I\u2019ll keep working on myself so I can be there for the people I love!<\/p>\n

  1. I used to simply not dare to. Because it also sends a signal: “Leave me alone!”. [↩<\/a>]<\/span><\/li><\/ol>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

    …but you\u2019re out there. That\u2019s more or less how it feels for me when I try to talk to other people. Sometimes more, sometimes less. I\u2019m sure my thought\u2014my idea\u2014is a good one. But the reaction isn\u2019t always what I\u2019d hoped for. The “why” and the “what for” Why am I writing this? What do […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":2472,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"iawp_total_views":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[5043],"tags":[439,5044],"class_list":["post-2457","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-let-it-be","tag-mindfulness","tag-self-care"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/kayhelena.work\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2457","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/kayhelena.work\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/kayhelena.work\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kayhelena.work\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kayhelena.work\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2457"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/kayhelena.work\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2457\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":2467,"href":"https:\/\/kayhelena.work\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2457\/revisions\/2467"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kayhelena.work\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/2472"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/kayhelena.work\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2457"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kayhelena.work\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2457"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/kayhelena.work\/en\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2457"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}